Yaoi Challenge!
by jasmin flower
Summary: A challenge fic! Interesting and terrible! Tamaki is in the mood, and so is someone else! May be the most tragic fanfic you've ever read, but may earn laughs! (Character death)


Hey! This is a challenge fic by my friend, and though it is technically a hentai yaoi fic, I'll warn you now, it's not a regular one.

After a fun night at Colossalcon in Sandusky Ohio, two how not to fanfic panels, both hysterical, we decided to write fanfics! The challenge is to write the worst, absolute horrible fanfics possible without doing some of the hopeless things often done. You'll see what I mean when you get to the lube part. Anyway, the point is to do the worst possible fanfic while keeping it as a hentai.

Enjoy, but if this turns you on, you need professional help.

By the way, this is only a oneshot, we don't want more than one of these. Trust me.

**Disclaimer- I don't own Ouran High School Host's Club, or anything else here.**

"Oh, I want you so bad." These words were normally said and blown off, but this night, after a night of binge drinking and solitude, they seemed to be just want he wanted to hear.

They were said at least weekly, but nothing had ever happened, just a smile, a quick wave and wandering away. This was all that ever happened.

Until today.

It was too much to turn down, the desperate need for affection and to feel someone's touch, it was just what was needed as Tamaki whispered into his ear, the intoxication taking full effect.

"Oh, I want you so bad."

"Then take me." Was whispered. These simple words, only a three word sentence was all that was needed.

It wasn't that long til the room was dark and quiet, suddenly everyone seemed to disappear, the world seemed to close off, the darkness seemed to come just within reach, then turn away. Like the light around them was the only light left.

He felt himself grow fearful as the lavender eyes turned to him, knowing they were so much brighter, so much more friendly in the sunlight offered no safety on this night, but none was needed.

He didn't need safety or love even, just touch, to feel again. To feel fingers entwined with his, to feel the ecstasy of lust towards him, and it honestly didn't even matter that it was Tamaki, anyone would do.

He watched as the eyes latched onto his own, their gaze not allowing him to move an inch from where he'd sat. He knew better.

As lavender eyes flickered down towards his lips, he unconsciously licked them, causing a smirk. "You really want it, don't you?"

"I don't even know anymore, I forgot how to feel."

"Let me teach you." Was stated softly, a smile gracing the young man's lips as he reached out and grasped his chin, pulling it towards, then softly up. Lips met lips and a flash of light seemed to radiate from his mind, causing all conscious thought to disappear. Tongues battled over who was dominating, even though he knew Tamaki would be the one to domineer, the way he always had the tendency of doing.

He was barely aware of the flutter of fingers across his chest til the cold air struck his nipples, causing them to reach out in sudden alarm. Instead of the fear he was expecting, a smile graced his lip as he turned an eye to the french man smiling down at him.

"Have your way with me, if that's what'll keep you happy."

"It will." Tamaki smiled as he threw the jacket and shirt behind, not paying their landing any mind.

He reached out, but before hands could become trapped, he reached out and slowly started undoing the buttons, seeing the flesh that would become one with him shortly. It was amazing how someone so thin and tall could hang as far down.

"I didn't know you were this well equipped."

"It's not the size, but what you can do with it." Tamaki grinned as he reached down, undoing the button on the other's pants and slowly slid them down. It was a moment before he again kissed him, but as their tongues fought for supremacy, Tamaki's hand did a small battle of it's own, softly caressing and squeezing the rock hard cock before him. Tamaki looked down and smiled.

"It's too bad I don't receive, this is actually quite impressive."

"I've heard." Was all he could choke from his throat through the heat in his throbbing meat stick.

"If it hurts, let me know." Was all Tamaki said as he slowly pushed him to his back and set his legs over his shoulders, pushing into him.

There was a whimper and a clenching of hands onto arms until the pain subsided. "I forgot to lube, sorry."

"It hurts more than I thought it would."

"Here, then. This is slippery." Tamaki laughed as he poured something onto himself and relief was felt as soon as the next push happened. It went from painful to amazing.

"Oh, god!" He yelled as Tamaki pushed again, reaching his hand down around the length of the man and stroked him to his own movements within.

He could feel himself getting close, the tension got so much worse, then that was it. He lost it. The hand on his man meat that pushed to the beat of the dick throbbing in his ass was too much and he gasped before yelling and everything seemed to go white.

He realized a moment later it was due to his own cum in his eye. He looked up as Tamaki grew closer due to the muscles contracting and yanked out, shooting his own load into the eyes of the other man.

The hot, sticky man juice seemed to flow down his neck and onto his chest as he reached and found a cloth to wipe his eyes with.

"That was amazing." He grinned as Tamaki looked down at him and slowly caressed his balls.

"Don't think I'm done with you yet!" Tamaki sang as his dick again plunged into the succulent ass before him and hands clenched onto wrists, cutting off circulation, but neither noticed.

"I can come many times!" Tamaki chirped as he pushed harder, faster and stronger into the other.

"Oh, god!" He could hear his voice echo off of the walls as his yelling and pants grew louder, as Tamaki's impressive length grew larger. It was now painful, but he'd never say to stop.

"Tamaki pushed his dick as far as he could, finally reaching down and pressing his fingers against the head of the other's dick. It was still sensitive, so he clenched harder, his hands finding a grip on the table cloth they were currently ruining as Tamaki moved suddenly slowly in, then out, and each shove in caused a gasp, while each slow removal caused a cautious breath to go.

Finally Tamaki couldn't hold back any more and pushed as far as he could in, causing his seed to shoot deep inside.

"You're pouring out!" He yelled as he gasped, the feeling new to him as the meat-cicle throbbed within him.

"It's a good thing you can't get pregnant." Tamaki joked as he slowly pulled himself out, finally feeling spent. "Thank you for an amazing evening."

"Oh, hell." Was all he could say as he ran to the bath room, but it was already too late. Shit sprayed the floor and the table cloth as he waddled down the hall.

"Sorry, I didn't know you had a weak sphincter!" Tamaki called into the bathroom and the other couldn't respond for a moment.

"I don't!"

"Then why did you just shit everywhere?"

"What did you put in me? What was the lube?"

"Shampoo! It's what I use with Antoinette!"

"You fuck your dog?" He whimpered, suddenly remembering movies were diseases started from animals.

"Antoinette is a good doggie! Especially if I come deep in her three or four times." Tamaki grinned and the other cringed, suddenly thinking to get himself vaccinated the next day.

"Besides, I know it only hurts people if they have a hole."

"Like a vagina?"

"Yeah, Haruhi forbade shampoo, said it burned."

"Shampoo is in my ass." He whispered afraid and surprised at the same time.

He was surprised when Tamaki came in and wrapped his lips around him, his tongue running circles over the head as he started to sink lower over the member.

This was the time his stomach gave out and he started expelling from his ass again, trying to fight the shampoo from him, but the pleasure of the lips wrapped around him were enough to keep him from even noticing what was happening.

"You're so good with your mouth!" He said while Tamaki again pushed his mouth down over the throbbing happiness stick with the balls hanging just low enough for Tamaki to notice. He pushed them down before lifting them and slowly started rubbing himself across them as the other shuttered in joy.

"I'm getting close. You're so good with your tongue!"

"There's a reason they call it french kiss!" Tamaki grinned as his lips again surrounded the throbbing man-javelin before him and sucked in all the air, causing a vacuum around his cock which was just enough to cause him to gasp and shoot, his cum shooting out of him hard enough to fly into Tamaki's lungs. Tamaki coughed as he shot back, surprised to find himself choking.

Tamaki looked up with surprise as the other tried to do mouth to mouth, but it didn't work, and now Tamaki's body had shit on the left leg.

It was ten minutes later til a cell phone was reached and five minutes after that til an ambulance appeared.

There was an arrest, but it was thrown out, as it was discovered what had choked Tamaki to death, than the whole incident was labeled an incident.

But after that, Mori knew never to use Shampoo as lube again.

The end.

**Please feel free to review and tell me what you thought, what you thought the worst or best part was so I can rub them in my friend's face! Also, when he posts his, I'll put up the link so you can read it too! (His is a crossover het.)**


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